The point of Christian parenting, as Pastor Mark Driscoll has pointed out in the past, is not to raise moralists who do what’s right for the sake of its rightness, but to raise young people who love Jesus. Think about it – when you scold your children, why are you telling them that they should do things? “We don’t call people fat because it’s not a nice thing to do.” “We don’t treat people with disrespect because it’s unkind.” “We don’t lie to people because it’s not the right thing to do.” These are all moralistic instructions. Do what is right because it’s right. Don’t do what is wrong because it’s not the right (moral) thing to do. Atheists raise their children in the same way, many even far better than we do. How then, should we act? What should we, as Christians be teaching them? In the very same way that we ourselves should view our impact in the world should we raise our children. We, as Christians, are not to change our lives or to expunge the sins that impregnate our actions, thoughts, and deeds. We focus on Jesus. When we spend time daily in prayer – when we spend time reading the Word – when we spend time contemplating the Son of God, His perfect life, His sacrifice on our behalf, and our right response – we will not want to sin and our first inclination will be to do what is right because it’s what Jesus commanded us to do. We, as Christians, should be so Jesus saturated that His very essence is seen in all of our words and actions with those in the world.
How does this relate to our children? Raise your children in the love of the Lord, reveal to them the grand things of Christ and God’s kingdom, spend time daily with them in the Word and in prayer. Let them observe Christ in you as you impact the world for His kingdom as well as how we treat our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ (not confined to our own local church body, but the body of Christ as a whole) and they will want to follow suit. When you sin against your children, repent to them, then ask God to forgive you. When your children sin against you, explain it to them in the context of Jesus. “Sam, it was wrong to throw that rock at Jimmy because Jesus told us to love our neighbors and by throwing the rock at him you’re neither loving your neighbor, nor are you showing him the love of Jesus.” Be a strong servant leader in your home by modeling Jesus to your family. Be intentional in your relationship with Jesus and study His word daily. Be public with your children in your prayer life. Don’t put on a facade of a the perfect Christian father or mother when you’re hurting deeply in your relationship. That leads your children to think that when they are feeling distant from God that it’s a problem with their own actions or maybe an issue in their relationship with Christ. Be honest in your desires before God and your family, knowing that every word and every action is watched by your children.
How do we impact the world as Christians? By living for Christ in all that we do and our children are the most prominent symbol of our worldview.